• AJ Activewear

Behind Closed Doors

No one fully understands what happens behind closed doors, with social media so influential nowadays we are met with the concept of making things look perfect in our virtual world. In reality this concept is not real. No one can be perfect or look perfect 100% of the time. Behind these pictures, the smiles, the happy posts are plenty of people that are happy but at the same time there are plenty of people trying to hide their insecurities, their fears, their stress, their tears, their worries... Some in need of a friend. Someone to talk to. Someone who can listen and not pass judgement. Someone who can lend a shoulder to cry on. Someone who can shine a little light against the dark cloud above. Someone who can take a little load off of your shoulders.

I blog, I use Facebook for my business and personally. For someone looking in, a stranger or even family, they may come to the conclusion that I have everything that anyone would want, maybe even the perfect style of life, perfect family, carefree, happy, fun loving... but let me just strip all of this back and open my closed door.

This is the bit that you don’t see of me...

I am estranged from my sister, I got medically discharged from a job and lifestyle I loved, I am estranged from both my mother and father, All my children were born premature (before 30 weeks), I suffered badly with post natal depression when my twins were born, I have had major health issues (that I have overcome and only now am I confident about my scars), My hair thins and falls out due to overwhelming stress, I lost my son at 2 days old, I’ve suffered a mental breakdown and I still battle with stress and anxiety...

Every part of my life I have learnt valuable lessons but that does not mean that it has been easy or even straightforward. With help from the right people. I have overcome many things that I would hope that non of my friends or family have to go through.

I am strong, not because I have to be, but because I have fought for all that I have and I’m proud to be perfectly imperfect, no ones life is as black and white as it may seem on social media. Don’t believe everything what you see, take time to talk (and yes I mean a proper conversation with another human, no technology), learn from each other, lean on each other, celebrate friends or family success, love and show love, be kind, be honest and tell someone you trust that you are struggling... We are all human and no human is a perfect human.

Sometimes in life we need to rely on each other, for help, for support or even just to get you through the day. Don't hide behind your closed door, if you don't speak the truth of whats happening and that you are struggling then no one will know. Darkness follows everyone, be a star and shine bright.

P.S. a day or so after this was written (draft copy as i have to forward plan life and blogs), I had to go into hospital through unbearable pain. Never have my post been so true as that day I pushed all the self independence, I can handle being a Full time Mother, Part time Father (blog), everything’s okay, I’m strong I can do this, virtual world living ... and reached out for some much needed help. Sometimes life doesn’t go as planned and new spanners which you think are secured, come raining down on you. After being in hospital it has made my point clearer. Sometimes life happens, lean on friends to help you in times of need, things do work out in the end and nothing is unsolvable. Trust your friends/family or even work colleagues. If you let them in you’ll realise that they will help take some of the ‘life’ pressure off of your shoulders. Trust! Let people into the world behind closed doors.

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